28. 05. 17
Losing someone is one of the harsh realities of life. It is harsh but like always, truth is inevitable. It takes hell lot of time to accept that truth and make it a part of our life. By losing, I do not mean, not talking. By losing, I mean death. I lost my grandmother today who was an eternal part of me. She was quite a distance away from me, we didn’t meet every year but since distance increases love, our love kept increasing like the distance. She didn’t talk to me everyday but I saw and felt and lived with her reflection since day one in the form of my mother. Bangalore has been tough or has been easy but has been truly worthy. They tell, time heals the pain but the fact remains, that with time, you start moving on with the pain. That pain becomes a part of you. Surprisingly, when look back, you wonder how did you overcome all the pain. You never want to let go of a person you love, so selfish we are! Things we never dare to even think sometimes happen and that is when you expand your horizons. Death is not a small thing. That person takes a part of you forever and today, when she left, she took away my claustrophobia from me. Definitely, your loved ones know what is troubling you!
I remember, I was not claustrophobic, that was induced in me by another mortal and today, an immortal soul disappeared, magically taking all my fears away! Suddenly, the darkness that haunted me, now gives me peace. I gave her the closure she awaited dearly for and in return she became my closure. A little guilt will always linger that I could not meet her but aren’t we always guilty of something or the other everytime? I know, five years down the lane, I will be proud of myself for all the love I gave to people despite their despites. One thing after the other, another fear will be fought, another war to be won and another heart still to win. I ain’t giving up soon! Yet the toughest battles are still to be fought but for now, let me sleep in the guarded arms of my grandmother!
Dida, your beautiful soul will rest in peace!